After more than 12 years of working with production databases, I have learned that performance problems do not always begin with one terrible query.
Sometimes it is several smaller things happening together. One session is using slightly more CPU, another is holding a lock, a background job is running longer than expected, and storage latency has quietly increased. None of them looks disastrous alone, but together they make the whole system struggle.
Stress can build in much the same way.
We usually search for one obvious reason when we feel exhausted: a difficult project, a production incident, financial pressure, or a problem at home.
But sometimes there is no single cause. It is the late-night message we answered, the lunch we skipped, the conversation we kept replaying, the water we forgot to drink, and the sleep we sacrificed because one task was still pending
Each one appears manageable. Together, they become a collection of background processes that nobody remembered to stop.
The Small Things That Keep Us Switched On
Lesson 1: Work Never Completely Ends
Anyone working in production support knows that some situations cannot wait. If a critical database is unavailable, “Let us check tomorrow morning” is unlikely to be accepted as a recovery plan.
But not every email is an incident. Not every Teams message is an escalation. And not every sentence beginning with “quick question” will actually be quick.
When work follows us into every evening, the laptop may be closed, but the mind remains connected. We continue thinking about tomorrow’s change, an unresolved ticket, or the possibility that another message might arrive.
Effectively, the brain remains on call—usually without claiming the allowance.
There needs to be a reasonable difference between being responsible and being permanently available.
Lesson 2: We Postpone the Basics First
During a busy day, lunch is often treated as an optional dependency.
We plan to eat after the next meeting. Then another call starts, a ticket is escalated, and lunch finally happens at 4:30 PM. That is not necessarily intermittent fasting. Sometimes it is simply poor calendar management.
Water, movement, and sleep are handled in much the same way. The body may tolerate this for a while, which can make us believe everything is fine. However, inadequate sleep can affect attention, mood, and emotional regulation, making ordinary problems feel harder the following day.
No productivity application can fully compensate for repeatedly ignoring the basics—not even the one with the attractive dashboard.
Lesson 3: Some Meetings Continue in Our Heads
We have all attended a meeting that officially ended at 3:00 PM but continued in our mind until bedtime.
Perhaps someone spoke unfairly. Maybe an important question remained unanswered. We replay the discussion and prepare several excellent responses—unfortunately, all of them arrive four hours too late.
It is unrealistic to expect every emotion to disappear when a meeting ends. A more practical approach is to write down what happened, decide whether an action is required, and set a time to deal with it.
Otherwise, a 30-minute conversation can occupy mental storage for the rest of the day.
Lesson 4: Notifications Create Invisible Work
One notification does not seem stressful. The problem is the repeated switching
You are reviewing a document when a Teams message appears. Then an email arrives, the phone vibrates, and somebody requests a “small update” in another channel. By evening, you have been active for nine hours but are not entirely sure what you completed.
Research suggests that notifications can interrupt attention even when we do not open them. Turning off unnecessary alerts does not mean becoming unreachable. It means deciding which applications genuinely deserve permission to interrupt you.
If five applications are all marked as urgent, perhaps none of them understands the meaning of urgent.
Lesson 5: Sitting All Day Does Not Help
DBAs can spend several hours in the same chair, particularly during an incident, production change, or troubleshooting call.
At some point, the chair knows more about the shift schedule than the family does.
Movement does not have to mean a full gym session. A short walk after lunch, standing during a call, or stepping away from the screen between meetings can break a long period of sitting.
A ten-minute walk will not resolve chronic stress or fix the execution plan. It can, however, give the mind a useful pause.
Lesson 6: Not Every Energy Dip Is a Blood-Sugar Problem
Tiredness, irritability, and poor concentration are frequently blamed on a “blood-sugar crash.” That explanation is often too simple.
The same symptoms may be related to poor sleep, dehydration, irregular meals, stress, medication, or an underlying health condition. An afternoon slump alone is not enough to conclude that someone has hypoglycaemia.
Regular, balanced meals are a sensible starting point. If fatigue, dizziness, or other unexplained symptoms continue, speak with a qualified medical professional. Google, a smartwatch, and one motivational video do not constitute a clinical team.
Lesson 7 Connection Matters More Than We Admit
When work becomes intense, personal time is often the first item removed from the calendar.
We postpone meeting friends, speak less with family, and remain half-connected to the phone even when we are with people; just in case the world ends while we are having dinner.
Supportive relationships cannot remove difficult circumstances, but they can make those circumstances easier to manage. Sometimes a relaxed conversation with someone we trust is more useful than another hour spent trying to optimise ourselves.
Recovery May Begin with Subtraction
When a database is overloaded, we do not always solve the problem by adding more resources. Sometimes we stop an unnecessary job, reduce repeated calls, correct an inefficient query, or remove work that should never have been running.
The same principle can apply to us.
Recovery may not begin with another tracking application, a complicated morning routine, or ten new habits that eventually become eleven new sources of guilt.
It may begin with something much simpler:
- Turn off one unnecessary notification.
- Decline one meeting that does not need to happen.
- Eat lunch without looking at a screen.
- Leave one genuinely non-urgent message until tomorrow.
- Allow an empty space in the calendar to remain empty.
The objective is not to eliminate every source of stress. Some pressure is unavoidable, particularly in roles carrying operational responsibility. The problem begins when pressure becomes continuous and recovery is repeatedly postponed.
We spend a great deal of time monitoring the health of our systems. Occasionally, we should check what has been running in our own background for too long.
Not every alert requires a P1 response—but please understand the alert before muting it and going for coffee.
Stay healthy.


